Giving a Compliment Can Make Someone’s Day—and Yours!

You know the rush you get when your fitness instructor calls out your awesome form in class? How about those excited butterflies when your girlfriend tells you how great you look in your tux? Compliments can be powerful stuff, says science.

Researchers from Japan have found that receiving a compliment activates the same area of the brain, the striatum, as when you receive money. According to a 2012 study, these same researchers found that men and women who nabbed a direct compliment during a workplace task performed better the next day compared to those who were not praised.

“People like to know that their efforts are being seen and recognized,” says Art Markman, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Texas, Austin. “Compliments are a great way to let people know that you are paying attention to them, and what they are accomplishing.

What makes a compliment so intoxicating? Time to break down exactly what makes that brief praise so powerful—so you can dole out a good one.

Power in the Unexpected

Catching someone off guard is a killer component of a great compliment. Scientists have looked at the power of unexpected gifts for some time, says Markman. “Compliments are unexpected gifts in the social realm,” he explains. “Generally speaking, there is also good work suggesting that expressing gratitude—and compliments come along with that—can make people feel more connected to others, which enhances mood.”

Power in the Positive Connection Between Two People

Speaking of connection, Markman says that compliments have power for both the giving and receiving parties—even if you’re simply looking to be nice. “Obviously, you don’t want to be completely sarcastic when making a compliment—but, even if you don’t believe something as strongly as you say it, that can still be a benefit,” he explains. When you see how the words affect positive change, you start to believe in their power, says Markman.

Power in Knowing Your Audience

You can tailor your compliment for your audience. Linguists have discovered that two-thirds of all compliments contain the words “nice,” “good,” “beautiful,” “pretty” or “great.” Research has also found that if a compliment includes a positive verb, there’s a 90% chance it’s “like” or “love.” And that’s fine! Formulaic compliments are very recognizable, and perfect for your Average Joe—someone you’re not intimately familiar with—and generally have the desired effect, a.k.a. a quick mood boost. Save creatively-framed compliments for those you know well, like a romantic partner, where noticing nuance counts. Telling your wife that the healthy dish she made for dinner reminds you of the fancy restaurant meal you shared on your first date hits the heartstrings a little harder than “I really like your scarf,” you know?

Power in Opportunities

Compliments don’t even have to be verbal, says Markman. More or less, they are acknowledging others for their efforts—especially on the job, so listen up, bosses. “Access and opportunity are also ways to reward people in the workplace without spending money,” Markman says. “People want to be part of important projects and see the ways that they can advance and get to know other important people in their world.” Giving employees face-time with the boss, opportunities to meet key movers-and-shakers, or the chance to influence decisions are all important ways to reward someone’s hard work and consistent efforts—even if you don’t have room on the budget sheet for a raise or bonus.

So the next time you notice a friend working hard on her step goal, offer up a compliment (or send her a cheer through your Fitbit app!) to help her stay motivated and put yourself in a good mood, too.